WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
