tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Alive.
So much puke
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
