I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
