I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
