I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
