I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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