Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
