why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
