I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize