if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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