Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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