he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you never un-have a 4some
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize