They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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