oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I look better un-naked...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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