Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize