Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize