Jerry, you need to find god
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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