birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
