rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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