When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
