marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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