There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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