what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
even my farts smell like vagina
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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