Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
