Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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