I can tuck mytits in my pants
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His hands were made for my vagina.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
