did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
