i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
