We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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