im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
