and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
