u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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