SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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