you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Houston, we have a squirter
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
