Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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