I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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