the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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