Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize