listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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