is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
