never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize