need another drink. this is the easiest way
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
whose parrot is this?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
