I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
