we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
