you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
