I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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