so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize