I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
