I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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