That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
