It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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