sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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