I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
MIDGETS
????
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
