you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
