I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
