Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
