Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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