So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
