i think my mom watched the whole time
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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