My first STD was from a foam party
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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