i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
