Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My bed smells like the plague
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize