thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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