Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
