i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
