Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
