In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
