he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
