I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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